Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Operation 60: Support System

One of the main reasons I came back to the blogosphere was to find a support system for this endeavor that I'm about to take on. Many of us have tried to lose weight on our own. Just last year, I lost 25 pounds pretty much on my own because I didn't even want to talk about it with anyone. I walked, ran, exercised, watched my diet (the best I could - lack of willpower, when it comes to food, is no joke) and anything else I could to make it happen. Sadly, when there were those days that I got discouraged (and trust me, being unemployed provided a lot of discouraging days), I couldn't pull myself out. Discouraging moments because days, days became weeks and weeks became months. It was at that point when I realized that I can't do it alone.

I spoke to a friend of mine who is also working hard (and successfully, I might add) to improve her health. Little does she know it was those conversation that really lead me to coming back to the blogosphere. At first I started writing about everyday stuff like I did in previous incarnations of my blog. It wasn't until two weeks ago that I decided to go in. I wrote one of the most personal posts I have written in a long time. I wrote about something I've never written about before, my health. It was a taboo subject for me until recently when I decided that talking about it might just encourage me to do something about it. With no responses for almost 2 weeks, I was starting to feel discouraged again (and a trip to Old Country Buffet over the weekend didn't help matters). It wasn't until last night that I finally received feedback. Not in a comment, but in a message on facebook from a friend/fellow blogger. With her permission, I'll post her message here:

Just read your September 8 blog entry and while I'm still ashamed to share how much I weigh with ANYBODY I will say I feel where you are coming from. If you will allow it, I would love to be a member of your support system. And maybe you can return the favor. Our paths to fitness might be a little different but we can definitely help each other. We can share tips and check in daily (if possible) to see what the other is up to. And in 9 months we can celebrate our success! We can only be successful (I'm claiming it!). Let me know what you think . . ."

That message meant a lot to me. It's nice to know I'm not alone and I was actually encouraged for the first time in a long time. Knowing that I am not alone means a lot to me and I hope having someone to be accountable to will make a difference. Even though we are in different states, knowing someone is checking on me should keep me in check. I'd love to have a bigger support system and I'm sure that will come in due time, but it definitely takes a spark to start a fire and I now have my spark.

I know the journey ahead is a long one, but I'm glad I'm not alone in it. As if finding a support system wasn't good enough, I got another surprise earlier tonight. As a big (no pun intended) fan of "The Biggest Loser", I was patiently waiting this new season. The contestants stories are so emotional and their eventual successes are all inspiring. No more than 20 minutes into the show, I see a familiar face. One of the contestants this season turns out to be someone I went to school with. A young lady who's weight has gone all the way up to 272 pounds. If that's not inspiration enough, I don't know what is. I will not lose, but I can take all of the help I can get.

Monday, September 13, 2010

O Brother Where Art Thou

My aunt died of breast cancer in 1994. I went down to North Carolina for the funeral, but didn't want to see my aunt like that so I didn't go to the funeral; neither did my brother. Instead, we stayed at my grandmother's house and threw batting practice to each other. That was the last memory I had of my brother. It was also the last time I saw him and the last time I spoke to him. Between his committments to the state of Virginia and his desire to disassociate himself with his family, I didn't care and definitely didn't notice how much time had passed. That all changed Saturday afternoon.

I don't answer calls from numbers that I don't recognize so I didn't think twice when I saw the number on the caller ID. A few minutes when I was told that the call was for me, I was definitely caught off guard. Of course I didn't know who it was, but once I found out, all kinds of emotions went through my head, but I decided to keep my cool. With the exception of one smart remark about him not being around I decided to just listen. We ended up talking for a half an hour. We agreed on a few things and I got a better idea of what's been going on with him. Now the real fun begins.

There's no way that one conversation could make up for 16 years, but this definitely has the potential to be a good start. He made some promises, but anyone who knows me knows that I don't care too much for promises. Actions speak louder than words so lets see how long it is before he comes through. He asked me for a favor, and I did it with no hesitation. Sort of an olive branch. The ball is in his court now. We will soon see if I can get one of my brothers back or if this was a cameo appearance.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Operation 60: The Beginning of the End

Most . . . no, all of my life I have stood out. If it wasn't for being the tallest person in the crowd, then it would be for being the biggest. When I graduated from high school, I weighed 275 pounds and at my worst, I went up to 340. Because I was 6'6", most people didn't really believe me when I told them. I guess the height masked the weight, but I remember the day that I saw that scale hit 340 I knew I had to do something. As I type this, I am nowhere near 340, at the same time I do realize that I am nowhere near where I need to/want to be. Last year, I made a concious effort to lose weight and was successful. Lost 21 pounds and have kept it off (save a pound or two around the holidays) Now its time to go hard, and that, I realize, I can't do alone.

One of the main reasons I returned to blogging is to get a support system and a sense of accountability. Posting my progress forces me to be honest with myself, admit my weakness and discover strengths that I didn't even know I had. It also provides me an opportunity to get tips and recommendations from those of you out there who've been in my shoes before. Whether you've tried to lose 5 pounds or 50, any help and support you give would be greatly appreciated.

I decided to start my journey today, September 8, 2010, because its the first day of school here in New York City. It's a day of new beginnings and today is definitely a new beginning for me. As I start this journey, I invite you to inspire, encourage and motivate me to get into the best shape of my life. During the next 9 months I want you to be there for the successes and failure and see me at the end when I intend on being a whole lot better than I am at the beginning. Thank you in advance.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Tuesday's Top 10

On Friday, I was in the house catching up on blogs that I haven't read in a while. I came across a post done by BluJewel where she listed 10 Things She Likes About Sex. I found the post to be interesting and decided to do my own list. Without further adieu . . . here's this weeks, Top 10:


10. The intoxicating afterglow - There is nothing more satisfying than good sex and the feeling that comes the first few minutes after you've finished is priceless.

9. The anticipation - the moments leading up to an encounter, whether you know its coming days in advance or minutes in advance, are exciting. The build-up itself is a turn on. Sort of like that 11:45pm on Christmas Eve feeling when you know you can open one present at midnight.

8. The simultaneous satisfaction off all five senses - Unless I'm missing something, sex is the only thing that allows you to satisfy all five senses (touch, taste, smell, hearing and sight) at the same time.

7. The trust factor - Next to a child and her hand in marriage, her body is the best gift a woman can give and the trust that comes with her giving you that is not to be betrayed (at least by me).

6. The vulnerability - Sex seems to be the only time that we don't care what we look like naked. Some of us don't like to look at ourselves naked in the mirror, but when we have sex, we allow someone else to see us and all of our inperfections.

5. Feeling comfortable in my own skin. - having someone who accepts you as is is another turn on and increases the comfort level that I have, not just with myself being naked, but with my partner as well.

4. The ability to satisfy a woman - anyone who has done it knows why this is so high.

3. The foreplay - Going back to a womans body being a gift, having the privilege of exploring a womans body and showing her how much you appreciate it is a rush, especially if you're someone who puts his partners satisfaction ahead of his own.

2. The escape from reality - whether its 5 minutes, an hour or an all night encounter with multiple episodes, when you're having sex, nothing else really matters. You are in your own private world with your partner. There are no cares and no problems. It's a temporary utopia.

1. The connection I have with my partner. - The physical enjoyment of sex is intensified multiple times for me when I have an emotional connection with my partner. Doesn't necessarily mean we have to be in a relationship, but it does mean that it has to be someone that I care for and who I have meaningful feelings for. Sex for the sake of having sex is a waste of time in my book.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Facebook Fridays: Don't Make It More Than What It Is

This weeks facebook status comes from a woman I went to high school with. On Wednesday afternoon, she simple put the following as her facebook status:


This caught my attention for several reasons. Besides the obvious buzzword, her status made me think of two things - first, the state of casual sex and second, the lack of honesty in male-female dynamic.

For a long time, when you spoke of casual sex, it was always about men and their attempts to sleep with as many women as they can. It was taboo to even think about, let alone talk about a woman having casual sex. As time has moved on and society has become more acceptable of women exploring their sexual freedom you hear just as many, if not more women have one-night stands, FB's (and we aren't referring to facebook here), side pieces and friends with benefits than men. Both marriages and relationships are on the decline while men and women are entering into these "situations" because they are easier and less stressful or they dont want to be bothered with a relationship.

If that's your thing I am definitely in no position to judge you. I've had my moments and if given the opportunity . . . never mind. That's an entirely different post. My problem with these "situations" is that most people don't end up in them willingly. Men still feel like they have to lie their way into a woman's pants. Half the time, all they have to do is be honesty. I really close friend of mine is going through it right now with someone who ran the "I want a relationship" game on her. They started sleeping together for a few weeks and now she goes days and in one case weeks without hearing from him.

Even in these "situations", honesty is the best policy. They may not always get what or who they want, but being respected for honesty is probably a whole lot better than the things he'd get called acting like he wants a relationship when all he wanted was sex, then gets the sex and disappears (I'm sure a few you of have been in that situation before). I'm sure there are women, and I KNOW there are men, who would be receptive to "I'm not really looking for anything serious right now, but I just want to have a little fun".

People are going to do what they want to do regardless, but I for one think honesty is the best policy. Don't lie to me and tell me you love me because you think that's what I want to hear. Be honest with yourself about what you want and who you want it from and all parties involved will be better for it. Don't overanalyze anything. Live you life and please . . . PLEASE . . . don't make it more than what it is.