Saturday, June 30, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 30: Legacy

What do I want to be remembered for? When my time on this earth is over, I want those that I leave behind to have fond memories of me. Whether it be a single moment or a lifetime of memories, I want a smile to come to their face when they think of me, or something that reminds them of me. I don't want anyone to have any bad memories of me (although, I'm sure a few ex's will hold on to those) and I definitely don't want anyone to have any regrets when it comes to me (whether it be things we did, moments we shared, or moments we didn't share). Last but not least, I want people to say that I was a good man, a good husband, a good father, a good friend, a child of God and their life was better because I was part of it for a little while. If that happens, then my life wasn't in vain.

Friday, June 29, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 29: Misunderstanding

What do people misunderstand about me? I could write a book. I guess the thing that bothers me the most is the fact that people are slow to realize that I am not like every other guy and I hate being grouped as such. Yes, I have male tendencies. I occassionally think with the wrong head, I like sports, women and sex (not necessarily in that order). At the same time, there are more differences than similarities when it comes to me. For starters, I treat everyone differently and don't base my friendship with anyone on anything anyone else has told me. Just because you don't get along with someone doesn't mean that I won't get alone with that person. I don't judge anyone by their past. Nobody is perfect (especially me) so I won't cast any stones your way. If anything, I'll accept you as is. I don't ask anything of anyone that I can't/won't do myself. I am real, straight forward and as I get older, get tired of the games. You're either going to love me, or hate me. No time for middle grown. I could go on, but what's the point. If you've been reading my blog for years, or know me outside of the blogosphere, you know. If you just started reading, you'll know soon enough. Cream rises to the top and you'll soon see that I'm not like the rest.

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 28: Love Language

Before writing this post I went and took the Love Language Assessment Test. I have taken it before, but its always good to see if things have changed over time. To my surprise, it has changed since the last time I took the assessment four years ago. Most of my adult life, I have been a Receiving Gifts guy, but based on the last assessment I took, I am now a Words of Affirmation guy with Reciving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch not too far behind. Quality Time finished a distant 5th, as I expected it to.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 27: Favorite Body Part

What self-satisfying person came up with this particular topic? I never think about it. Been too busy admiring and appreciating the female anatomy to pay any attention to mine. I guess, in order to keep this post pure, I'll say that my legs are my favorite body part. They are toned (I hate squats, but they pay off big time) and have barely a hair on them (no, I have never shaved my legs). Now if I could just reward them by losing a little more weight and taking some pressure off of them, I'll be alright.

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 25: Dinner Companion

If I could have dinner with anyone in history. . . the choices are endless. I truly couldn't narrow it down to one person, especially since (me being the difficult gemini that I am) the purpose of the dinner would change the person I wanted to enjoy a meal with. On top of that, I'm not too star struck either (except for that one time I met Egypt). Besides, President Obama, Cory Booker or Marty Markowitz there aren't any politicians I could think of that I'd want to converse over a meal with. No atletes unless its Hope Solo, Jennie Finch, Misty May or Candace Parker. No actors unless it's Pacino, Denzel, Sam Jackson or my celebrity crush, Sanaa Lathan. That might be it. Those last two would definitely provide for interesting dinner companions. Beyond that, I would rather just have dinner with someone who enjoys food and can provide a decent conversation and keep me stimulated.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

30 Day Blog Challege - Day 23: Hobbies

The following are my favorite hobbies (in no particular order):


It doesn't matter if it's playing or just listening, music is my drug (at least one o them). There is a song for every situation and sometimes songs can speak when we don't have the words.


When you have nothing left you have your memories an the best way to capture memories is on film. I haveenjoyed being behind the camera since I was very young. There was a time in which you never saw me without a camera. Whether its special occasions or scenery, a picture is truly worth a thousand words.


I went to Toronto when I was 10 and have loved to travel ever since. Going to different places alows you to learn about different cultures and makes you more aware of what is out there in the rest of the world. Whether for pleasure or to sitesee, I would suggestthat everyone get out of their comfort zone and see what the rest of the world has to offer.


I used to use writing to say the things I was afraid to say myself. A teacher once told me I have a very vivid imagination. From there I was hooked. Although, I don't do it as often as I used to (as is evident by this blog if nothing else), every so oten I get an itch and go old school and put pen to paper.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 22: The Future

What is my 5 year, 10 year and 15 year plan? Over the years that question has gone from one I had no answer to to a question whose answer changes almost daily. With the recent changes in my personal life the answer seems to change almost daily. The 5 year plan is simple; DON'T GET FIRED. Since I work for the city, I become vested in the pension after 5 years (gotta secure financial security for the long term). During that same time, establish a nest egg, pay off bills and revisit my business plan.

The 10 year plan is all about establishing stability, deciding whether or not to move out of New York, buy a house and put serious work into making my dream come true, while assisting others to do the same.

The 15 year plan is all about making sure my finances are in order so that I can stop working for others and fully devote myself to my dreams. Of course there are things that will impact this and I am prepared for that, b ut these are my goals today.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 21: Super Powers

If I could have one super power it would be invisibility. Sadly, I'd use this power selfishly **use your imagination**. The first thing I'd do would probably go and scare the crap out of some people. Beyond that, I'd do a lot of free traveling. Invisibility mean no ticket necessary. I'll keep quiet about the rest of my plans, but I would definitely enjoy myself.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 20: 3 Childhood Memories

There wasn't much to write home to when it comes to my childhood; at least nothing that I'd want to reminisce about on this blog. I grew up. I woke up, went to school, did homework and went to sleep to do it again the next day. Picking 3 memories is difficult, but here goes:

1. Summers in North Carolina

Every year on the last day of school, my mother would pick me up and take me directly to the airport. A Piedmont Airlines flight would take me from either Kennedy or LaGuardia to Norfolk International in Virginia. Waiting for me to get off the plane would be either my brother or sister who had driven the 74 miles from my grandmother's house in Edenton, North Carolina to get me. For the next 9 weeks I'd work in a tobbacco field, play softball and go fishing with my brother in small town USA. Those summers were rough on a city kid, but as I grew up, I came to appreciate them.

2. Family Road Trips to North Carolina

Some times the trip is just as fun or more fun than the destination. Riding up and down Highway 13 through Delaware, Maryland and Virginia and across the Chesapeake Bay Bridge provided for some good memories growing up. Whether it be 10 of us squeezed into a stationwagon or the many "we should not be going this fast" speeding tickets., looking back on it, it was all laughs at this point.

3. Backyard Bar-B-Que's

Food, folks and fun. It was a slogan for McDonald's back in the day but it was also the best way to describe a cookout for my family. Cards, food, and brown liquor music (not to mention the brown liquor itself) was the order of the day. I wish someone could have recorded some of the antics that went down at these events. . . then again, I'm probably glad they didn't.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 19: If I Could Live Anywhere

I the United States, of all the places I've been so far, I think I would most like to live in Southern Maryland. Having grown up in New York City most of my life, I have reached a point in which I am ready to leave the Big Apple. I'm a city boy at heart and always will be, but there comes a time in every man's life where he needs to make grown up decisions. Leaving the city is definitely in the best interest of me and my family and it is something I am in the process of working on as we speak. So much so that I have the day January 17, 2017 circled on my calendar because that is the date in which I get fully vested into the city's pension program and will begin my search for a new home in Maryland. Honorable Mention goes to Upper Darby, Pennsylvania

Monday, June 18, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 18: Forgiveness

There used to be a time in my life where I held a lot of grudges and didn't forgive anyone for anything, but as I grew spiritually, I learned that forgiveness is necessary for personal growth. That being said, if I had to pick the most difficult thing I had to forgive, it would have to be when I finally decided to forgive my father for his lack of parenting while I was growing up. I say that not so much because it hurt the most, but because it hurt the longest. I was damn near 30 when it happened, and although we will probably never have each other on speed dial, I figured that the best way to get past it is to look it in the face and deal with it instead of running from it. After doing it I felt as if a weight has been lifted from on my shoulders, and I vow that any child that I am fortunate enough to father would never feel the same way about me as I did about my father at one point.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 17: One Thing I Wish I Were Better At

This is easy. The one thing I wish I was better at would have to be music. In my life I have played the piano, the drums and the saxaphone, but I gave all of those up at various times because I didn't want to put in the work. As I get older, I know wish I had done more with each. Not saying I would have gone professional or anything, but definitely wish I had the ability to just pick up one of them and get in a jam session every once in a while. I also wish I could sing better than I do. Then again, even if I did, I'd be too shy to want to sing in public.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 16: Greatest Accomplishments

1. College Graduation

Not just because I was the first of my mother's children and the second person in my family (mother's side) to graduate from college, but because a weaker person might not have made it had they had to go through what I went through. The road was rough, but I didn't give up.

2. Being more successful than my parents

Not that I had an unattainable goal, but moreso because this current generation isn't expected to be as successful as their parents. That's a trend that certainly needs to be reversed quick, fast and in a hurry.

3. Being a mentor

I was fortunate to have 5 of the best mentors a guy could have, so to be able to instill in someone else what they instilled in me means a lot to me. My first mentee is 2 weeks away from his high school graduation and I'm really starting to feel what it means to be a mentor. I like it.

4. No jail time.

A black man in New York City is born with 2 strikes against him and not only is he not supposed to see his 34th birthday like I did a few weeks ago, he's also supposed to see the inside of a jail cell once or twice in his life (if you believe what THEY say). I am glad to be the exception to the rule, but I look forward to the day that the exception is the expectation.

Friday, June 15, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 15: If I Were An Animal

My first answer would be a penguin, but I don't like cold weather. My second choice would be some kind of bird and my third choice would be a panda. I think those three animals kind of fit my personality. Really not trying to bother nobody, just want to go about their daily routines. No enemies, few haters, but more fans than anything else.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 14, 2012: Strengths

1. I am a great listener.

I'd say I'm the strong, silent type. But just because I don't say much doesn't mean I don't listen. I hear and listen to (there is a difference) everything that is said to me whether it be verbal or non-verbal. People say a lot with other parts of their bodies other than their mouths and I make sure I let people know that I'm paying attention to EVERYTHING.

2. Non-judgmental

The Bible says "he who is without sin, cast the first stone". How can I be a friend and pass judgment on things that my friends have done when I know that I haven't been and will never be an angel myself. I accept the people in my life for who they are and won't judge them on anything they tell me. At the same time, I hold them to the same standard and hope they don't judge me either.

3. Think outside the box Most questions have more than one right answer, and I like to find the less common answer. Just because things have been done a certain way for years doesn't mean things have to stay that way. If things change, they'll just be different.

4. Compassionate

In comparrison to most guys, I'm probably the most compassionate person you know. I try to be supportive of my friends in good times and even more so in bad times. If there is any reasonable thing I can do for a friend, I am down for doing it, especially if it brings even a temporary smile to their face.

5. Generous

I've been burned a few times because of this one, but I still like taking care of people who take care of me. That will never change. Birthday cards, unexpected Christmas gifts, just because shout out, favors, you name it. I understand that a lot has been given to me out of generousity and the only thing I can do is pay it forward, starting with the people in my life. The closer you are to me, the more I'll do for you.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 13: Weaknesses

Am I being interviewed without noticing? That definitely sounds like an interview question. Let me see:

1. I don't take criticism too well.

I have been working on this over the years and have definitely become better at it, but it is still something I sruggle with. Chalk it up to my sensitive side.

2. I don't make eye contact when I'm nervous.

Hell, I'm 6'6", I rarely make eye contact anyway. Ask my wife and she'd tell you that if eyes were breasts and vice versa I'd make eye contact with every women I meet (I'm a breasts man, but I can't be THAT bad). The downfall of being a loner most of my life. The inronic thing is that I LOVE public speaking.

3. I don't speak up as much as I should.

I have never been one to rock the boat so I generally just went with the flow instead of speaking up and taking charge.

4. I wear my emotions on my sleeve.

I don't think I could ever be a professional poker player. I have too many tells. When I'm happy, it shows, when I'm not, GET OUT THE WAY.

5. I can be easily distracted at time.

I definitely get bored easily and the right distraction could lead to a very unproductive day.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

TMI Tuesday: The Most Times

We want to know what thing you’ve done the most times.

1. What sex position have you been in the most times?

Not that I was paying attention, but knowing me it would probably be a neck and neck race between missionary and having a woman ride me. Those would definitely be the top two. I can also tell you what would be last on the list, but that has more to do with not finding too many willing partners than lack of desire or enjoyment on my part.

2. What book have you read …? I don't read a lot of books, let alone reading them more than once, but I do know what book I have read the most. I have read Ralph Ellison's "Invisible Man" on 3 seperate occasions.

3. What movie have you watched …?

Hands down, "Coming To America". How else would I have most of the movie memorized?

4. In the last week, who have you texted … ? (no names, list the relationship or type of person)

By number of text, it would be one of my better friends in Maryland. One of only people that I text on a daily basis.

5. In the last week, what food have you eaten …?

I'm pretty sure it's chicken. I think I find a way to eat chicken at least once a day.

6. Today, which website have you visited …?

I check facebook, hotmail, yahoo and espn every 15 minutes, but I easily spend more time on Facebook than any other site.

7. When dining out, where have you eaten …?

Sadly, I'm gonna say McDonald's.

8. Which sex toy have you used …?

This week, none, but in the past, toys have definitely been a welcomed addition to the bedroom (or any other room where things go down).

Bonus: Is there something you’d love to go back and relive in your sexual past?

Sure is, but that's another story for another day . . . MAYBE.

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 12: A Typical Day In The Life

Sadly, my Monday - Friday is pretty boring: 6:30am - Wake Up
7:00am - Breakfast
8:00am - Leave for Work
8:30am - Arrive at Work
1:30pm - Lunch
4:30pm - Leave Work
Things vary a little bit after work, depending on the day: Mondays my wife and I have dinner with her mom and we are usually there from 6 - 8pm.
Tuesdays and Wednesdays I usually have one or two meetings at the church so I usually grab something to eat then be at the church from 7pm - 9:30pm
Thursdays are truly my only day to relax. I'm home by 5pm. Have dinner at 6:30pm. Watch Jeopardy at 7, then spend quality time with the Mrs. until its time for bed.
Friday is date night so that schedule varies depending on what we are doing that night.

Monday, June 11, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 11: 10 Pet Peeves

In no particular order:

1. The questions "Can I ask you a question?" and "May I ask you a question?"

2. The non-word "Conversate"

3. Being late without calling.

4. Kids menus

5. People who complain about how long they have been waiting for the bus, but don't have their fare ready.

6. Cheek piercings

7. Skinny jeans

8. The media

9. The fact that radio stations play the same 5 or 6 songs all day long

10. People who are non-supportive yet call themselves friends.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 10: Most Embarrassing Moment

Where do I start? If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at. Trying to write this post has brought up a few memories that I'd like to forget. If I had to go with one, it would be this one:

I was in the 6th grade. To get to school, I had to take three buses (or two buses and walk). The intersection in which I switched from the first bus to the second bus was (and still is) one of the busiest intersections in Queens. Normally, all I had to do was get off bus A, cross the street and get on bus B. On this particular day, I was rushing because bus A was running late. When we got to the transfer point, bus B was already there and was just about to get a green light and leave. I just off of bus A and ran across the street, when all of a sudden I felt a great breeze. I looked down and my pants were around my ankles. Apparently, I didn't fasten the button on my pants all the way. Needless to say, I didn't want to get on bus B because everyone had seen what happened, as did all the people on bus A who were quick to remind me the next day. For the next couple of weeks, the trip to school was a pretty embarrassing one.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 9: 3 Influential People

I have been fortunate in my life. Where I was lacking in one area, I had more than enough to compensate for it. I was blessed with people who directly or indirectly helped to mold me to the person I am. It's hard to choose just three people to highlight, but I'll try.

The first, or should I say first two people I could think of (outside of my mother) would have to be a couple that took me and treated me like their own from the time I was 11 (and even still today). At the time I first met them, they were youth leaders at my church, but over the next 23 years they would become mentors, role models, co-workers and for one 7 month period, direct supervisor. One even went as far as to co-officiate my wedding. This power couple have each individually watched over and cared for me at times when I didn't even want to care for myself. Now, I find myself doing for my mentees some of the same things they were doing for me. I owe them more than I could ever repay so instead of trying to pay them back, I pay it forward as often as I can.

The other person who has influenced me would probably say that she did nothing if I ever told anyone in public and that's what makes her special (among other things). Being around this person automatically makes you want to make yourself a better person and she is always quick to tell me that she has noticed a difference from the time we met to now. A good friend is someone you can learn from and someone who accepts you as you are and supports you as you get better. I don't have many of those, but I am glad she is one of them.

I have more than 3 people who have influenced me and I could write about these people all day long, but if my actions don't properly respect them, then I have learned nothing from them. I can only hope that as I learn from them, someone sees something in me that they might one day thank me for influencing them. Contrary to what Charles Barkley thinks, we are all role models to someone.

Friday, June 8, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 8: 5 Passions has 5 definitions for the word passion and 4 of them relate to sexual desire. Today, I'll actually focus on the other definition, which is "any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.". With that being said, I am passionate about music, food, life, travel and adventure. No need in expanding on any of those because they are pretty self explanitory. Each have and will continue to be what gets my heart pumping each day and I wouldn't know what to do without one of them.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 7: Dream Job

There are three different answers to this question. The first is the dream job I wanted growing up. the second is the dream job I wanted before I got married. The third is the dream job I want now.

Growing up in the 1980's in New York City, only one thing mattered in the summer, the New York Mets. I have been a Mets fan for as long as I could remember. So much so that I would copy all of their batting stancing on the playground (didn't care too much for Gary Carter's stance, thought it was too stiff), and it was Howard Johnson who made me want to be a switch hitter. When we played on the street, everyone wanted to play the outfield or pitch because of Doc and Daryl, but me, I wanted to play first base. I figured I would be the next great first baseman after Hernandez retired. So much so that I made my mother by me a first basemen's mitt when I was in 5th grade. Sadly, that dream died a slow death in junior high school when I was reluctantly converted to catcher and was buried in high school when I couldn't even make the school team.

As I let the dream of being a Met go (even though I still play first base in as many pick-up games as I can get in), my next dream job came to me when I was in college. With all the running back and forth up I-95 I did while I was in college, I started to wrap my head around being a Greyhound Bus Driver. On one particular trip from Baltimore to New York, a driver told me how his day went. He'd wake up in Baltimore, take his kids to school. Get to the station in time to drive the 12:05pm express bus to New York. The bus gets to New York around 3:30pm and he runs errands in NYC and comes back in time to drive the 7pm bus back to Baltimore. He's in Baltimore by 10:45 and in his house by 11:30. To me, that seemed great. No two days the same, you meet different people every day and you travel. Sign me up. Would have helped if I had a license at the time.

Today, my dream job is to be the CEO of a successful Not For Profit business that focuses on improving the lives of others. Anything from welfare to work projects to community development to skill development. So many people have done things for me and the best thing I could do to repay them would be to pay it forward. I do it now to the best of my ability with my friends, but I hope to do it on a larger scale one day.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

What Would You Do Wednesday

I'm taking this one straight from a status of one of my Facebook friends: How would you feel if you are in a relationship with your partner and while the two of you have a verbal disagreement your partner come to you and said (s)he regrets not getting his ex pregnant/getting pregnant by her ex?

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 6: Hardest Thing You've Had To Experience

"I'm starting with the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways. And no message could have been any clearer. If you wanna make the world, a better place, take a look at yourself and make that change."

- Michael Jackson - "Man In The Mirror"
It is often said that the greatest battle one will ever fight is the battle within. During the summer of 1998, I had to fight that battle. After an incident that does not deserve much dwelling on, I was put in a position where I was given two options: Expolsion or Therapy. Because I figured it would be easier than telling my mother I got kicked out of school, I chose therapy.

Here I was, a 20 year old kid who had just finished up his sophomore year in college, was junior class vice president-elect, bass drummer in the baddest college drumline on the planet (or at least in our conference) and the future ahead of him and in one 10 minute period, he lost every friend he had in the city of Baltimore and had his boss wanting him to spend a weekend in a mental institution and left in a position where a total stranger would determine his future.

Once I started my sessions, I was hit with questions that had nothing to do with the original reason I was sent there, but questions that would ultimately lead to the discovery of some things that I had been holding back for years. I was forced to look in the mirror and be honest with the one person I found it easiest to lie to - myself. Those six weeks (which turned into 12 weeks because I was rather enjoying them after a while) were the beginning of the slow evolution into the person I am today. There have been bumps in the road between then and now, but I began improving myself then and there.

Looking back on it, had I not done that, my life would have turned out totally different and who knows where I would have been at today (if I was still alive). I am thankful for those who put me in that position, but at the time, it was definitely the hardest thing I have experienced in my life.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 5: 5 Things That Make Me Happy Right Now

There are a lot of things out there that make me happy, but I know the greatest happiness comes from within. That being the case, 5 Things that make me happy right now are:

1. My spiritual growth over the last few years.
I am far from an angel, and still have my share of demons and temptations, but I am a work in progress. Those who know me outside of the blogosphere have acknowledged a positive change in me as have those who have watched me grow up. I feel like I am in a good place spiritually and looking forward to where God is taking me.

2. My professional life.
The last four years have been a roller coaster ride for me, but I finally feel like I am back in a career. There is a big difference and I am thankful for a second chance.

3. My marriage.
If you had asked me when I broke up with "Guyana" is I knew I was going to end up with "Panama", I would have said no. I had my eyes set on someone else, but God had other plans for me. My wife has become my calming nature and even though every day isn't paradise, every day is worth it.

4. My team
I didn't expect anything from the New York Mets this season except for last place and hopefully they'd win on days that I actually go to a game. Here we are into the 3rd month of the season and they are sitting in second place looking pretty good. Don't know if this is going to last, but I'll take it for now.

5. The Future
Trips, special events and special occasions. 2012 is definitely going to be a year to remember. I can't wait to enjoy all it has in store for me.

Monday, June 4, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 4: 10 Things To Tell Your 16 Year Old Self

1. You are going to miss out on a lot of stuff if you don’t speak up from time to time. The worst things that could happen is someone could say no.

2. Don’t take “Promdate” to the prom. Ask “Guyana” instead. It’ll save you drama later on in life.

3. Get a damn summer job every summer.

4. Even though you’ll be bored because you’re acing the class, show up for your accounting class every day. Attendance DOES count in college and is the difference between an A and a B (also the difference between keeping your scholarship and losing it).

5. Take Mr. Lalin’s advice.

6. You are wasting your time going to the China Buffet every day. You’ll never be more than friends.

7. AP English has to be a whole lot better than DVRD

8. Get your Driver’s License

9. Live a little

10. Spring Break somewhere other than NYC at least once.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 3: Describe Your Relationship With Your Parents

This will probably be a short post because it would probably be difficult for me to write if I went indepth into it. All I can really say is that over the last four years, a lot of what I thought about each of my parents has been flipped upside down. For years, I held a grudge against my father and put my mother on a pedistal. Sadly, that's what tends to happen when you only get one side of a story. Over the last few years, I have been learning the other side of the story and somewhere in the middle I know lies the truth. As I am still processing that, I can't really form an honest opinion about either of my parents beyond this - the relationship with my father is slowly improving and the relationship with my mother is slowly going in the opposite direction. I won't say anymore than that right now, but as I learn and process more, I will be sure to update my opinions here. . . now what did I do with my therapist's number?

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 2: 3 Fears

According to Wikipedia, fear is defined as a “distressing negative sensation induced by a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger. Fear is apparently a universal emotion; all persons, consciously or unconsciously, have fear in some sort.” For me, there have been three fears that have dominated my life. Two I have gotten over and one I am still working on.

My first fear, and to this day my biggest fear, is dogs. It all goes back to a day when I was in elementary school. My mother and I were going to a doctor’s appointment. We were leaving my aunt’s house heading to the bus stop, when her dog ran from the back yard, climbed the fence and bit me in the neck. From that day on, I have had a distain for all dogs. In recent years, I have started to be okay around smaller dogs, but still (much to my wife’s disappointment) don’t want a dog of any kind to come near me.

My second fear was that of the dark. That lasted until I was 15 (yeah, I said it, 15). Spending summers with my grandmother in Edenton, North Carolina, I never knew what would be outside (and wasn’t really in any rush to find out). She had everything from snakes, to raccoons to skunks to deer and I was scared any or all of them would come when the lights went off.

My third fear is rejection. With the exception of girls I was interested in, I got everything I went after growing up. I did not lose an election or fail to get a promotion until I was 23. When it finally happened (failed to get a promotion, even though I knew it was a part of somebody’s bigger plan) I didn’t know how to take it. Life is funny though. Between ages 29 and 33, I learned a lot about rejection as I had an engagement called off and got fired from 3 different jobs in that time frame.

As I have gotten older, I have learned how to deal with fear. With the exception of the dogs, I have either gotten over, or learned how to deal with the things that I was afraid of before. Who knows, the dogs still have a chance, although I stand firm on the fact that I wouldn’t want one as a pet.

Friday, June 1, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 1: 20 Random Facts

1. I have a radio in every room of my house, but only listen to the radio approximately 20 minutes a day.

2. I still have notes that were written to me in high school and letters written to me while I was in college. I also hold on to certain e-mail messages and reread them every so often.

3. After working 8 years in a call center, I would much rather text or e-mail than talk on the phone.

4. With the exception of my student loan, I still write checks to pay my bills.

5. I like country music and have been a fan since the days of Randy Travis and the Oak Ridge Boys.

6. My life is not as interesting as others think it is.

7. I was a fan of “Desperate Housewives” until it got bumped out of its Sunday 10pm timeslot for some show called “Grey’s Anatomy”.

8. Music is my drug of choice.

9. Thinks Rachel Ray is a cutie.

10. I don’t see how people think Niki Manaj is either attractive or talented.

11. Would love to have an apartment in Midtown Manhattan.

12. I like playing “Devil’s Advocate” and running hypothetical situations through my head.

13. I’ve never played “Spin The Bottle” or “Hide & Go Get It” growing up.

14. Hasn’t been on a roller coaster since the 8th grade.

15. Still likes wrestling, but don’t know how much longer that will last.

16. Would love to go to Australia one day.

17. Thinks actions speak much louder than words.

18. I want to write a book one day.

19. Has been told that he looks like Lakers coach Mike Brown.

20. Took longer to do this than he thought it would.