Monday, July 30, 2012

Hell Hath No Fury . . .

We all have heard the old saying, "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" and give credit to William Shakespeare for it, but did you know it actually derived from a longer and lesser known quote from William Congreve which reads "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned." Regardless of which version of the quote you perfer, I was reminded of the validity of the statement earlier this week.

Earlier this week, the girlfriend of a friend of mine allegedly discovered that her boyfriend/husband of 19 years, her high school sweetheart, the man who took her virginity and the only man that she has been intimate with, had not just had an affair with a co-worker that had lasted for several months, but also fathered a child out of that situation (to go along with the two that they had together). Apparently this discovery was made by way of his facebook page or through his phone because she promptly hijacked his facebook page. Over the course of a week she proceeded to blast him, calling him every name in the book, posting the incriminating text messages, giving out information about the other woman and things like that. She also stated that she forwarded everything she had to both the other woman and his mother. And of course, with his phone in her possession and his facebook page under her control, nobody has been able to reach out to him. The situation reminded me of the time when I called off my engagement to "Guyana". I didn't even cheat on her and for the two months that followed, she bashed me on MySpace and hacked into my e-mail account sending messages to everyone in my address book (some of you reading this might remember that). Thankfully, my "true" friends rallied around me and helped me get through the situation, but this situation had me thinking. Is there are difference between a one-night stand and an affair? Have you been in a situation where you've been cheated on? How far did you go to hurt the person who hurt you? Or better yet, did you ultimately forgive the person? In my situation with "Guyana", she was bitter for years, but as time went on, I forgave her because I evolved into a better place. Doesn't mean I'll forget. I just learned from the situation and moved on. Hopefully my friend and his girl will as well.

6 comments:

O-ren Ishii said...

Forgiveness is a beautiful trait. Sometimes you just have to let go. I've been cheated on,and it hurt, but all of that madness-hell no. Putting that much energy into revenge and negativity is going to leave you empty and drained. And if you do get any sense of satisfaction it will be short lived. Ultimately, if it's something as egregious as an out-of-wedlock baby and you can't see fit to stay, then leave. But if you can find it in your heart to forgive, and you think its salvageable,then stay. You never forget what happened. But as far as the revenge thing, that's just not cool. The universe always pays you back.

Organized Noise said...

My problem is the fact that she went public with it at all. What happens now if after she calms down she decides she wants to try and make it work. She'd look like a fool then because of what she did.

Amazon said...

I agree with that point ON. She did what she did in a blind rage, and if she does decide that her relationship is worth saving then she will look like a fool or she'll know that people are always going to be thinking about it and casting their judgements on the situation.
If that happened to me I don't know what I would do. I don't think I would go so public with it. I would probably just leave. Because if you can have a long winded affair, have another child, all the while lie to me and disrespect our union then why should I continue to respect it and work for it.
I might forgive, but I wouldn't forget and I don't think I could re-build that trust.

Organized Noise said...

Amazon: Much like you, I can't say what I'd do, except in the case where she got pregnant by another man. Unless there is something medically preventing me from having a child that would be unforgivable. I know someone who was cheated on by her husband and after considering all the alternatives, decided to stick it out. Now there are about to celebrate their 12th Anniversary.

BluJewel said...

I find myself agreeing with the previous comments. Personally, I'm not going public because it's 1) not for public knowledge no matter how pissed I might be and 2) the more people who are in your business, the more complicated the already complicated situation gets and you've too many people trying to give you advice.

While the situation is ugly, someone has to and should take the adult role and start facing the issue head on because the damage has already been done, so it's solution time.

Organized Noise said...

Such a mature answer from a mature woman. I agree with you 100%.