Monday, July 30, 2012

Hell Hath No Fury . . .

We all have heard the old saying, "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" and give credit to William Shakespeare for it, but did you know it actually derived from a longer and lesser known quote from William Congreve which reads "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned." Regardless of which version of the quote you perfer, I was reminded of the validity of the statement earlier this week.

Earlier this week, the girlfriend of a friend of mine allegedly discovered that her boyfriend/husband of 19 years, her high school sweetheart, the man who took her virginity and the only man that she has been intimate with, had not just had an affair with a co-worker that had lasted for several months, but also fathered a child out of that situation (to go along with the two that they had together). Apparently this discovery was made by way of his facebook page or through his phone because she promptly hijacked his facebook page. Over the course of a week she proceeded to blast him, calling him every name in the book, posting the incriminating text messages, giving out information about the other woman and things like that. She also stated that she forwarded everything she had to both the other woman and his mother. And of course, with his phone in her possession and his facebook page under her control, nobody has been able to reach out to him. The situation reminded me of the time when I called off my engagement to "Guyana". I didn't even cheat on her and for the two months that followed, she bashed me on MySpace and hacked into my e-mail account sending messages to everyone in my address book (some of you reading this might remember that). Thankfully, my "true" friends rallied around me and helped me get through the situation, but this situation had me thinking. Is there are difference between a one-night stand and an affair? Have you been in a situation where you've been cheated on? How far did you go to hurt the person who hurt you? Or better yet, did you ultimately forgive the person? In my situation with "Guyana", she was bitter for years, but as time went on, I forgave her because I evolved into a better place. Doesn't mean I'll forget. I just learned from the situation and moved on. Hopefully my friend and his girl will as well.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Love That Chicken At Popeye's

The following happened to a friend of mine earlier this week. It makes you wonder about people sometimes. Customer service jobs of all sort are about one thing - CUSTOMER SERVICE. You never know who is on the other side of the service you are providing and in this case, the person involved belongs to a few high profile organizations who could not only have the employees involved fired, but have the location shut down. Read for yourself:

I just saw the commercial on television aboyut the new shrimp. I decided to go through the drive thru to order food. I ordered the butterfly shrimp basket and 1 wing. I was told that it would take a minute and that someone would bring it out to me when the order is ready.

I wheeled around to the front and waited for 15 minutes. I decided to call in the store. When an employee, who I now know is Denise picked up the phone. i asked " Hi, I am a customer from the drive thru and I ordered shrimp. did you guys forget about me (giggling)". The crew member Denise stated "well, if you wanted your food, you should have come in and not the drive thru". I was taken back immediately and stated "if I wanted to come in, I wouldnt have went through the drive thru". The crew member then hung up the phone.

I waited about a minute to gather myself and then went into the store. I asked to speak with a manager. NO ONE acknowledged me at ALL, no one. I asked again. Then the woman Denise stated "you need to wait, she is in the back". The manager then came up front. I asked her.. "did you just hang up on me?" she stated no, it was her (pointing to Denise). I asked Denise "why did you hang uo on it, that was very inappropriate and unprofessional". I was very upset yet still trying to keep my cool. Denise stated "YES, I hung up on you!!! Look at you, you are too fucking FAT, you dont need to be eating chicken anyway".

I was very taken back and was in shock. she begin to continue to curse very loud and embarrassed me in front of everyone in the store. I then said to the manager "she is very fucking unprofessional and this is what you allow to happen in your store". she began smirking. I then became very upset stating "I could not believe what is happening, this store is very ghetto and this isnt the end of me. Then Denise stated that she will "see" as in fight me outside. I took her up on her offer!!! I could not believe what just happened. The manager on duty told me to walk outside wit her and asked Denise to go to the back. When we walked outside the manager was rude as well. she told me that I was wrong... I asked her for what, you allowed her to hang up and curse and belittle me. The manager then turned around and walked away! I work in Human Resources and this is a shame to the popeyes brand!

I have called this complaint in and havent revieved a response from management. I even went online and submitted a complaint and still no response. !!! By the way, when I received my food, my shrimp were burnt!

This occured at the Reisterstown Road in Owings Mills on July 14th at 5:41pm

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Friends Come In The Strangest Places

As the old saying goes, "good friends make good lovers". As much as I'd like to test that idea out . . . I mean, I don't know if there's any truth to that, but since I have based all of my relationships on good friendships, I tend to agree with it. At the same time, logically speaking, you'd have to agree that the inverse of this statement is true, which means bad lovers make for bad friends. Being one of the few people who actually talk to most of his ex's and even considers some of them more than just casual acquaintances, I sometimes wonder if an ex can make for a good friend.

I was speaking to a friend earlier today. So was at a low because she found out that the person that she was dealing with was already in a relationship and she felt like a fool. As we continued talking, she said that her ex came over and provided a shoulder for her to cry on. I knew they still kept in contact because they have children together, but didn't know that after being divorced for a few years he had turned into her confidant and go-to guy. To get her mind off of her current circumstances, and to satisfy my own couriousity, I started asking about their friendship. She went on to tell me that the first year after the divorce she couldn't stand him. He would flaunt his new girlfriend in her face and still try to sleep with her at the same time. Then after a while, things started to change. He started coming to her with his problems and vice versa. Next thing you know they were good friends.

Like I said before, I think I'm in the minority when it comes to being friends with ex's, but at the same time, I think it's good to see that some people can overcome their bad relationship to be good friends. Then again, I think that if more people took the time to be friends before they become anything else the idea of being friends with an ex would become more common place. Then again, that's just this man's opinion.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

The Notebook . . . Live

When I first started dating my wife, one of the first things she wanted me to do was watch "The Notebook". I'll admit, it was a pretty good movie. Had me going at the end, but I figured stuff like that only happens in the movies (this coming from a hopeless romantic who loves romantic comedies). Little did I know, there was a relationship like that right under my nose.

Mr. & Mrs. Middleton are members of my church. Of course, with the age difference (He was in his 60's and she was in her 50's when I was born), I didn't know them well growing up. Even as I entered my 20's, I had only heard about them, and didn't get the chance to meet them. It wasn't until the last few years that I had the pleasure of getting to know them. When Mr. Middleton took ill, my wife's brother was his home attendent so we would here stories and sneak over for visits. When his situation worsened, Mr. Middleton was moved to a nursing home.

Mrs. Middleton was there every day from the beginnning of visiting hours to the end of visiting hours unless she had her own doctors appointment. That was about the only thing that was going to keep her away from her "daddy", as she called him. She spent so much time there, that she ended up selling their house and moving into the nursing home herself. And although they couldn't be in the same room, they had rooms right next to one another.

I went to see the Middleton's Father's Day weekend and it was a very humbling experience. Mrs. Middleton was just as vibrant and talkative as she always is and Mr. Middleton was still his cool, calm and collected self. Not saying much (maybe because of all the years of his wife not letting him get a word in), but letting you know he understands everything in his own way.

Sadly, Father's Day weekend would be the last time I saw the Middleton's. Mrs. Middleton passed last week. Her funeral was Wednesday morning. Mr. Middleton passed away this morning. Probably because his heart was taken away from him. When I heard about Mr. Middleton's passing it reminded me of the Notebook and assured me that true love still exists in this world.

Friday, July 13, 2012

It's Time . . . Again

Before my world got flipped, turned upside down four years ago, I had in mind the idea of starting my own business. Of course it was just an idea, and I had put nothing on paper at the time. I had only really gone as far as conceiving an idea and doing an initial search for a business plan writer (I can teach someone to write one, but don't feel confident enough to write one myself). I had never gone any further than that because the moment after I convinced myself it was time, my engagement was called off, and six months later, I lost my job. Now, I see myself finally getting some semblance of stability back in my life and I'm starting to think that there is no time like the present. What do they say? If not now, when. If not me, then who? Stay tuned. I'm sure a solicitation of prayers will be coming soon.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

The New Scarlett Letter

One downfall of not having cable is that you get subjected to some television shows that you otherwise wouldn't be watching. This spring, for me, I am sad to say that includes "The Bachelorette". Yes, until my recent discovery of "Master Chef" and "Hell's Kitchen", my television was on "The Bachelorette". I assure you it watched me more than I watched it, but it was something about this season that did catch my attention. For the first time in the history of the show, the bachelorette is a single mother, and the 20 Bachelor's that she had to choose from are showing America how difficult it is for a single mother to date in today's society.

My wife had a child six years before we started dating. As a matter of fact, 6 of the 7 women I was seriously interested in before I started dating my wife had children before I expressed interest in them. None of those children asked to be here and certainly didn't ask to be here in a situation in which their parents weren't together, but stuff happens. Should I hold that against the child, or the mother, or should I appreciate the mother even more for handling their business in spite of an absentee or deadbeat father the same way my mother did when she raised me?

Granted, it took me a while to get to this point, but there was a woman I was interested in a few years back, who had two children. Even though we never ended up getting serious, she made me realize that if you like a person, you must accept EVERYTHING about that person. A woman with children should not be seen as a deterent (unless you're just not into kids). Children are a blessing and they give just as much love back as the mother's you're dating.

I've been in two (official) relationships with women who had children and I've learned something. Children just want someone to love, Someone to be around, and someone to love their mother. Back when I was dating KC Masterpiece, her daughter and I bonded quickly. So much so that when I ran into them last year, she still remembered me. And when I started dating my wife, she was a little apprehensive about me meeting her son, but once we did meet, she said she had a few conversations with him and he was ok with her dating. Now, we are at a point where we have our own bond and that just makes the relationship between his mother and I even better.

It bothers me so much to see good women cast down upon like Hester Prynne in The Scarlett Letter just because she has a child. To be fair, it also bothers me when men who are actually doing right by their children are looked down upon just because they have children too. Those of you out there complaining about not being able to find a good woman, needs to look again. There are some single parents out there holding it down quite nicely and these women want/need love too. Don't knock it til you try it, you might just find what you're really looking for.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

What Would You Do Wednesday: Couriousity Killed The Cat

A friend of mine was married a few years back. Out of that marriage produced two beautiful children. Unfortunately, after a while, but individuals had developed wandering eyes. They both cheated and ultimately decided to end the marriage. The husband was arrogant with his cheating and went public with his side piece (who he eventually married) shortly after the divorce papers went in. The wife on the other hand, continued to be descret with her's for as long as she could. She almost had to since she was sleeping with a married man herself (although he was in an open marriage). Follow me so far? If not, it doesn't matter, that's not what this post is about.

Let's fast forward to two years after the marriage was over. The couple turns out to be better friends than spouse and even get intimate with each other every once in a blue moon for old time sake. One day, while they were having a conversation, the husband comes out and tells the wife that he know she had cheated on him because he went in her phone one day and found a video clip of an encounter that she had with someone. She continued to deny the affair thinking that it doesn't matter since they are divorced. Since she wouldn't admit it to him, he proceeded to forward her the video from his phone. Speechless, she admitted it, then asked why he was looking through her phone. That leads to today's questions.

The cheating aside, do you think its cool for someone in a relationship to look through the phone, e-mail account or facebook page of their partner? Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever gone looking for something in a partners phone and found what you were looking for? How did you handle it? I'll admit I'm guilty. When I was with "Guyana" she told me that she had taken some "pics" with one of her ex's. Me being me, I asked to see them. Of course she wouldn't let me see them. So, one day, while I was hanging out at her house, I tried to find them to no avail. Then again, that situation was slightly different because it was something we had talked about and she wouldn't have gotten into any trouble had I found them. I would have just enjoyed them for what they were. Anyway, is there any privacy in a relationship or should their be full disclosure. Inquiring minds want to know.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

TMI Tuesday: Fill In The Blanks

1. I could spend all day PLAYING VIDEO GAMES but couldn’t stand five minutes WATCHING ANY REALITY SHOW THAT FEATURES WOMEN WHO DATED ATHLETES.

2. I would love to have a robot in my house to WASH DISHES because no one else ever does.

3. The older you get the more UNINHIBITED SEX you get.

4. I want to TURN A DREAM INTO REALITY when I SEE HER AGAIN.

5. My appetite for LEARNING can never be satisfied.

Bonus: If I were a hoarder, I would hoard NEWSPAPERS .

Thursday, July 5, 2012

I Got'cha Hook Up

So, our summer intern started on Monday. With it being a slow week, my co-worker and I spent most of Monday and Tuesday giving her the third degree. Comes to find out she is a very intelligent, rising junior in high school, who speaks 2 languages fluently, reads as a hobby, doesn't like rap music and doesn't have time for Facebook. In addition, she has a 4.3 on a 4.0 scale, plays soccer and runs track for her school. If she has it her way, she will go to Penn State, study pre-med, then come back to New York to go to Columbia University for Medical School. Besides all of that, she volunteers in the school library during the year, and is volunteering with us during the summer while maintaining a full time job. There's more, but I forgot it.

My co-worker was so impressed by this young lady that he uttered those dreaded words every child wishes their parents would never say, "you should meet my son". Of course I didn't think he was serious, at least until this afternoon. I was out of the office most of the morning. When I finally made it in, I went to my desk for 20 minutes then went back outside for lunch. When I returned with my lunch, I noticed a young boy in the clinic. I probably wouldn't have paid him any attention at all except for the fact that the pediatrician is off this week and I shouldn't be seeing any children until Monday. I brushed it off since he wasn't bothering anyone and went about the business of eating lunch. I came back from eating and he was still there, still not bothering anyone. About 4pm, he left, with my co-worker. At first I thought it was just a coincidence that they would leave at the same time, but then my other co-worker informed me that the kid was our co-workers son. I quickly turned to the intern and told her that he was serious about bringing his son to meet her. Have you ever had your parents try to hook you up with someone? Have you ever met someone and thought that they would be good for your son or daughter? Do you know anyone who has been in an arranged marriage? Do you think they even work? Inquiring minds want to know.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

TMI Tuesday: Public Participation

1. Have you ever shared sleeping accommodations with someone of the opposite sex without anything steamy happening?

Unfortunately, yes. Most recently was about 11 years ago. I was going to Baltimore on a weekend trip and a friend of mine said I could stay with her. Little did I know that she only had a one room apartment and no couch in her living room. On top of that, she had a full size bed so we didn't have much room, but we did sleep in the same bed without anything happening, not that I didn't want anything to happen, I just didn't want to be a rude guest.

2. Have you ever streaked, flashed, or otherwise partially or totally exposed yourself in public before (or after) an informal, unofficial gathering of people?

Never streaked or flashed before, but there was this one time I was out with a friend of mine. We had been drinking and took a walk through Central Park. Out of nowhere she asked if she could see what I was working with. I told her to go get it and sure enough she did. That's about as close as I have come to public exposure.

3. Have you had dates with multiple people in the same weekend (or consecutive nights or the same night) while not all of your dates were aware of your actions?

Sure did. On a different trip to Baltimore, I went out with one young lady on Friday night and another on Saturday night. Didn't see any reason either should have known about the other. We were all adults and each of them enjoyed their time with me.

4. What is the most “romantic” you have ever gotten in a movie theater?

I can honestly say that I have seen every movie that I have paid to go see with the exception of the second time I went to see "Old School". I'll just leave it at that.

5. Have you ever had sex when you knew a non-participating adult was watching?

Not knowingly, although I wouldn't be against it today.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Soda Free Summer

I am always up for a good challenge, especially if there's something nice waiting for me upon completion of the challenge. The other day, I was browsing Facebook and I saw that a friend of mine was soliciting support as she was about to begin a new challenge. After looking at the challenge she was about to undertake, I told her that not only would I support her, but I would take it with her. I then announced to my Facebook friends that I would be undertaking this challenge and within 24 hours 8 of my friends decided to undertake it with me (there's strength in numbers). So, starting today, and for the next 2 months (at least) I will be participating in Soda Free Summer. The challenge is to go from July 1 - September 1 without drinking any soda or energy drinks. Some of you may think that this is an easy challenge, but for me, this is definitely going to be a challenge. Thankfully, my wife is taking it with me so I know there won't be any temptations in the house. There is no reward awaiting me if I complete the task, but I am sure that the drastic decrease in my sugar intake will provide its own pleasant surprise by Labor Day. For those of you who want to join me, let me know in the comments. Those who would rather pass, I would still appreciate your support. I'll keep you posted on how things are going on a weekly basis. Today is day 1, which is sometimes the hardest day to finish. We shall see.

Operation 2012: Halftime Report

What do you know? 2012 has already reached its halfway mark. Operation 2012 is still in progress, but its time for another assessment. I didn't post an update for the month of May because I had a good feeling that my birthday month would feature way more nights out than I am used to. I actually ended up gaining 5 pounds during that month, but I quickly got back on the horse during the month of June. As you might remember, my goal for the year is to lose 25 pounds, or roughly 2 pounds a month. That means that by this time I should be down 12. As of my last weigh in, even after gaining 5 pounds in May, I am still down 8 for the year. More important than that, I feel better and people who see me on a regular basis are starting to notice a difference as well. I know I still have work to do, but having people encouraging me lets me know that I am on the right path and I look forward to kicking it up a notch this summer. How's your year going so far?