Saturday, October 27, 2012

Weekend Update: $!@# Just Got Real

So, I had my annual physical exam Saturday. Nothing really surprising, but some things I want to work on if I want to stick around for a few more years. Gotta get my weight and blood pressure down. I'll admit, I've been a little stressed out lately, but I'm not making any excuses for it. Fortunately my doctor is cool and it's good that we can talk man to man without him freaking me out. The weight, on the other hand is going to take some work, but I am more than willing to do it. I have a goal (35 pounds by my 35th birthday) and once I give myself a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, it's going to be on. The world isn't ready for what's about to come.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

What Would You Do Wednesday: Not MySpace, but OurSpace

My cousin put the following up as his facebook status earlier this week (names withheld to protect the innocent):

Wow! it's been 23 years since I first started dating *************** who became ************************* on January 12, 1997! We've had ups, downs, swerves, falls, laughs, tears, cheers, bumps, trials....etc. But through it ALL we stayed together! Grew together! I'm humbled to say i'm still learning and growing! Some say our faith in God was a crutch. And I agree 100%!!! We are two...imperfect individuals needing someone perfect to hold onto! I'm not ashamed to day I'm a man ALWAYS in need of God in my life. It was our faith that kept us from walking away in separate directions! It is our faith that continues to mend our hearts together again after my immaturity, irresponsibility and insensitivity. so if i'm accused of using God as a crutch, then i proudly hold my crutch proudly for dear life! I will no longer have this solo FB Page as of 12 Midnight.. i will be marrying my wife's page as; ***********************************4Ever!


This weeks question: Would you ever share a social media outlet with your spouce?

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

TMI Tuesday: Two Weeks Worth

1. Have you ever had a friendship with a someone where you secretly (or not so secretly) desired them?

Still do, and it's not a secret to her.

2. Are you prone to jealousy, suspicion or insecurity when your partner spends time with an attractive close friend without you? Why?

Nope. Why bother? Even if its justified, it's not worth the energy.

3. Has a previously platonic friendship ever bloomed into a sexual relationship?

Yep. At least twice.

4. Have you ever remained close friends with an ex-lover?

Yep. Most of my ex-lover's started out as friends to begin with.

Bonus: Have you ever developed feelings for a “friend with benefits”? How did it develop, unfold, resolve?

I've tried not to, but it did happen to me once. I never expressed my feelings that. Didn't want to risk making things acwkward if the feelings weren't mutual.


1. What one part of your sex life today would most surprise the 17 year old you?

The fact that I did eventually have sex with my first crush

2. What one thing might shock that younger you?

The fact that I enjoy anal sex with women (giving of course)

3. What part of the younger you’s (not necessarily at age 17) sex life do you look back on with the most nostalgia?

None. Didn't lose my virginity until I was almost 18 so there isn't much to look at.

4. Is there anything in the younger you’s sexual ambitions or fantasies you have not yet fulfilled?

Yes. There's a few things on that kids sexual bucket list.

Bonus: Give your 17 year old self a piece of sexual advice.

Sex isn't what you think it is. You're probably not going to marry the first person you have sex with so go out, be careful and enjoy yourself.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Paying It Forward, Professionally

“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.” - Tenzin Gyatso


I was doing a self-inventory this week and acknowledged the fact that I have a giving nature. Don't believe me, ask any of my friends, ex-girlfriends or my wife. When I have to give, and I like you, you can damn near get the shirt off of my back. I give and sometimes I give so much that my kindness and generosity are taken for granted (most recently 2 weeks ago, but that's a story that won't be blogged by me any time soon). In a recent conversation with my blog crush, she acknowledged that she had the same issue (guess it must be a trait of our zodiac sign, which we share).

Fast forward to this afternoon. I was watching "Katie" (I have a white girl crush on Katie Curic). Her main guest today was Tyler Perry. They talked about the usual stuff (his past, Madea, his new movie) then went into his philanthropy. Katie went as far as flying in people Tyler has helped out in one way or another. The interesting thing about this is the fact that he had helped these people without even meeting them. The look on his face as he met these people to me was priceless, then a lightbulb went off in my head.

Four years ago, I had said to myself that I was going to start a non-profit business and start helping people in the community. Do things like resume prep, run welfare to work programs, ESL classes, and ultimately, create a community center. I said that I was going to start working on that dream on January 1, 2009. Unfortunately, on January 4, 2009, I lost my job and spent the last 4 years hustling and doing my best to keep a roof over my head. Now, I feel as if I am in a better position and motivated to revisit my dream. This time, I'm not even going to wait for January 1st. I'm on it now and I'm just asking for support. Hell, if you have the same passion for doing right be people, I need your help. Can't do it alone. There is strength in numbers. Stay tuned.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

What Would You Do Wednesday: Dont Call It A Comeback

A little more than 2 years ago, my friend "The Doctor" got married. A week later, before leaving for her honeymoon, she called me and told me that her husband didn't want her to speak to me anymore. In order to not cause any problems in their marriage, I respected his wishes. Over the weekend, I received an email from "The Doctor" just checking up on me, with no mention of whether or not her husband has changed his mind about me. Should I respond to the e-mail? If so, what should I say. If not, why not?

Sunday, October 14, 2012

They Don't Dance No More.

This past weekend was homecoming weekend at my alma mater. Besides the usual homecoming traditions, this year I was convinced to attend a homecoming game afterparty. Sadly, this event took place in Baltimore and I went in with a New York mentality (one of the reasons I stopped going to after parties years ago. For starters, the party was frm 10-2. 10pm is usually the time I start getting ready for a party. Then again, parties in NYC can go til 4am.. Next, the venue could safely hold 250 people. If I had to guess, 300-350 people squeezed in there. Doesn't leave much room to dance. Then again, people don't dance anymore, unless you consider grinding and simulating sex to be dancing. A lot of the people who went to this party should have just saved their money and went straight to their hotel rooms. They wouldn't have missed much because this party ended about 1:15 when security realized there were too many drunk people in the builing. Of well.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Put Your Best Face Forward

The best piece of advice I ever received can from Bishop Mitchell Hudson. I won't give him full credit as I am almost certain he didn't create it. He was just the person that was used to convey the message to me. Anyway, after a sermon that he preached one day he said the following, "smile, it'll keep your enemies out of your business". From the moment the last word left his lips, I was on board. I have always been a person who wears his heart and emotions on his sleeve. Unfortunatley, that opens me up for inquries and interrogations from people who I don't want in my business. I'm not saying that it's easy to do, but a smile can sometimes be the best weapon you have to use against the negative people and energy that are trying to attack you on a daily basis. When people can see that something is wrong with you, you give them the opportunity to pounce on you and destroy you. To your enemies, a smile is like a no vacancy sign, that forces them to try to find someone else to mess with. Think about this next time you're going through something.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Melodies From Heaven: Keep Risin' To The Top

This was my Facebook status this morning:

We all have dreams and for some, getting what you want is motivation enough. For the rest of us, we have a tendency to become complacent with what we have, even if it isn't everything we dream of. If we stop chasing our dreams we will never reach them. Let's make a collective effort to remove complacency from our lives. Let's turn our dreams into realities and take our lives to the next level.


Yesterday, my pastor did something he doesn't do very often. He preached on "deliverence". He told us that each one of us reaches a point in our lives which is somewhere between where we were and where we want to be. We have the nice car, nice house, and maybe even the nice job, but it's not what we really wanted. It's not the DREAM CAR, DREAM HOUSE, DREAM JOB and in some cases, it's not even the DREAM SPOUSE. We all just reached a point where we settled on something and stopped chasing our dreams. We all reached a point of complacency and stopped working for what we wanted. We let attitudes, bad experiences and bad habits hold us back so often that we convince ourselves that we are happy, even when we aren't.

I went to a memorial service on Friday evening (which ironically came after one of the best conversations I have had in a long time). It was geared towards high school students and one of the speakers made a very illustrated point to help the students understand the difference between saying what you want and going after it. He pulled out a $20 bill and asked one simple question, "who wants it?". All of the students raised their hands and started yelling, meanwhile, one kid emerged from the crowd approached the man and took the $20. I don't know if the kid was planted in the crowd or not, but it did prove a point. While all of you(us) are talking about our dreams, only a select few are bold enough to go after what we want.

At the end of the sermon, we were asked to think about a few simple questions. What would we be willing to give up in order to get closer to making a dream come true? What sacrifices would we be willing to make? What would we be willing to do, that we aren't doing now, to take our lives to the next level. It put a lot on my mind and as I start to formulate internal answers to those questions I'll be sure to share with you.