Thursday, May 30, 2013

The Doctor Is In . . . Again

When I last wrote about "The Doctor" last year, I really thought that was going to be the last time. Her husband made it very clear that he didn't want me in her life and I decided that the best thing I could do as a friend was to respect his wishes. No phone calls, no text messages, no e-mails, even unfriended her on Facebook. The funny thing about friendships, the good one's are hard to break and stand the test of time . . . or insecure husbands. "The Doctor" texted me on Tuesday to wish me a happy birthday, but in addition to her usual birthday wishes, she also informed me that she was getting a divorce. It was just like old times, her running to me after another failed relationship. Only difference was that it was a marriage that had failed instead of just a regular relationship. The fact that we hadn't spoken in four years didn't matter. It became very apparent to me that I am the Yang to her Grey. I am her "person". Last night, we had the first of what will be many catching up questions. Judge me if you want, but I'm glad to have my friend back. More details to come.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

35 - Phase 2 (Happy Birthday To Me)

When it's said alone, 35 is just a number. It comes after 34 and before 36. It's factors are 1, 5, 7 and 35). When you attach it to a unit of measure, the number 35 takes on different meanings. 35 miles per hour is too slow, 35 degrees, too cold. 35 days, too long. 35 years old, too old? Wait! I turn 35 years old today and I feel like life is just starting. Not in the sense that I'm just being born, but in the sense that I've reached the age where I can start LIVING.

I've always been of the opinion that life comes in three phases. The first phase is the learning phase. You grow up, you learn, you make a few mistakes and learn from those mistakes. The second stage is the application stage. During this stage, you were able to get all of the kinks out and you can utilize those lessons you learned in phase one to benefit you and take you to another level. Not saying that you can't make mistakes in this level, but the consequences of your mistakes in this level are much more severe than in the first phase. The last phase, is the teaching phase. You've either mastered life, or made mistakes that you don't want to see the next generations makes. You pass down your knowledge to those behind you. This phase can start before phase 2 is over, but ultimately, if we are lucky, we all get to experience phase 3. That's my main goal as I enter phase 2.

I've done enough reflecting on my first 35 years to last . . . 35 years. Regardless of what has come from those reflections, I'm going to embrace 35 and make the most of this day and every day that I am fortunate enough to see after it. Happy Birthday to me!

Monday, May 20, 2013


Every day, each of us makes hundreds of decisions. Some are good, som are bad. Some we later regret, others we don't. Some benefit us, others teach us a lesson. Then there re those decisions made with no rational thought, like the one made by a young man Saturday night in Jamaica, Queens. This young man, of only 16, thought it was a good idea to randomly shoot at a bus that was carrying a young lady who had just got into a fight with his girlfriend. The consequence of that decision was the death of a different 1young lady; a 14 year old who had nothing to do with the situation. Sadly, the way I see it, the trickle down impact of that one bad decision has the potential to lead more people to make more bad decisions as an attempt to avenge the first bad decision. Two wrongs don't make a right. We have got to do better.we live in a time when teenagers go to just as many funerals as they do parties. We have to get together and teach our children better. The next wrong decision that someone makes could impact you.

I'll Always Bleed Orange And Blue

12 years ago today, I made the transition from current college student to recent alumni. When I reflect on my years at Morgan State University, I acknowledge that the journey wasn't an easy one and I was definitely unprepared for what I encounted that hot August day when I first took the Greyhound bus from New York City to Baltimore. Over the course of my five years in Baltimore I encounters my share of ups and downs, met some great people, made some good friends and had my share of experiences *wink*. Most of which I'd love to relive, even if just for a day.

In my years as an alumnus, my love for my school grew even more. I became the first member of my graduating class to become a Life Member in the alumni association, and joined my local chapter of the alumni association (where I ultimately served 2 terms as President). I have only missed 1 homecoming (and that was only because i got married) and been to more graduations than I can count. For what it's worth, I even dated a former Ms. Morgan State University for a while (another story for another post). I've done college fairs, given out scholarships and mentored my share of students.

Over the weekend, I had the privilege of becoming part of a legacy. One of the high school students I mentored years ago, joined me as a member of the Morgan State University alumni association. It was a proud moment for him, and it was one for me as well. Watching him develop over the years and grow into the young man that he is now has me beaming with joy, and knowing he did it at the same school that made me who I am is just the cherry on top. And by the looks of things, he's going to have even more immediate success than I will. That's the best part of given back, or paying it forward. Investing in someone so they can be even better than you. It doesn't get any better.