Thursday, August 29, 2013

Animal Attraction

One of my Facebook friends posted the following question on her facebook page and it prompted a very lively discussion:

Do you generally approach people you have an immediate physical attraction to or do you prefer to get to know a person first then become attracted to them

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Condom Chronicles

I work in a medical clinic. Right outside of my work area is a bucket of complimentary condoms. At first, nobody really paid attention to it, but lately, it has povided me with some memorable moments that have helped make the work day go by faster. Just a few minutes ago, I was assisting a mother of two out with some forms when her son noticed the bucket and asked his mother what they were. Apparently she was not ready to have that conversation with her children because she became beet red and tried to chage the topic immediately. I found it hard to kee a straight face. Besides her embarrassment, I started thinking, when is the right time to have "the talk". My parents never had that discussion with me and Panma and I just had the discussion with Lil Panama this past weekend (he's 11). Do you remember when you had "the talk"? Do you remember giving "the talk" to your child? Isthere a universal right time? You want to get it before they learn from somewhere else, but you also don't want to do it too soon. What's your take? Inquiring minds want to know.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Monday Musings

It's always good to get your ego stroked first thing Monday morning (get your mind out of thegutter . . . for now). Came in this morning and several people commentted that they are noticing my weight loss. Yes, I've been excercising and watching what I eat but I hadn't noticed anything. It's nice when other people notice (whether its honest or not). It mad me smile on a Monday morning.

Took the family to the north end of Central Park on Saturday. It's a shame that most New Yorkers don't take advantage of the park. Between the lakes, zoo, garden, conservatory and walking trails there's so much to do (and that doesn't even include the unexpected surpries that can be filed as "only in New York"). There is a little bit of everything.

Whoever decided to put Ben & Jerry's "Half Baked" on a stick is a genius.

Went out to dinner Saturday. Wasn't too impressed with our waitress, but after seeing the people at the table next to us not tip the waitress, I overtipped her to compensate. I've never worked in food service, but I know enough people who have to know that they live on tips. I won't say everyone provides tip worthy service, but because I plan on returning to the restaurant so I tip regardless. . . just in case they remember me when I return.

I'm not a fan of summer, but this past weekend was right up my alley. Low to mid 80's and not a cloud in the sky.

I didn't watch the VMA's. Based on my facebook and twitter feeds, I didn't miss much. I will be youtubing the Justin Timberlake and Robin Thicke performances though.

Ok. Back to work I go now. Make it a great day.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Lost Art?

The big talk in clinic this week was the fact that one of my co-workers was celebrating her anniversary. 31 years of wedded bliss (as she says, even though most of us refuse to believe that the last few have been blissful). That topic eventually led to a conversation about the current state of dating. (Before going any further, let me establish that this conversation was held between 5 people who are at various stages of relationships; single, but in a long-term relationship with her live-in boyfriend, single and in a new long-distance relationship, single and dating, engaged, and me.) Generally, because I'm almost always the only man in the conversation, I tend to do more listening than talking and I always find it interesting to hear that thoughts of my female co-workers. In this particular conversation, it seems that we all agree on one thing; dating, and to a greater extent courting, is a lost art.

Personally, I first heard the term courting, when I read Joshua Harris' "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". At the time that I read the book I was dating "Guyana" and it opened my eyes to a few things. The primary thing was that people get so caught up in the title of Boyfriend/Girlfriend, that we don't even take the appropriate amount of time getting to know a person before stating that they are in a relationship. People get so caught up in the outside opinions of others (i.e. "when are you going to change your relationship status?") that they rush into situations before they are even ready or know the person well enough to make the decision of whether or not they even want to pursue a future (dating, sex, friendship) with that person. There dates does not make us a couple, and these days, the fact that we had sex doesn't make us a couple either.

Another thing that the book made me realize was something that I was doing and didn't even know it. I have always prided myself on establishing a friendship with someone before I even thought about pursing anything else. Sadly, it's probably cost me an opportunity to date a few people in my past (Damn Friend Zone). If I had a dollar for every situation in which I heard that I was like a brother to someone or that they didn't want to risk the friendship on a relationship, I'd definitely be able to afford a nice dinner somewhere. Since when has being friends been bad for a relationship? All these years I've always thought it was the best foundation. What do I know?

The third thing the book reminded me of was the fact that physical connection doesn't equate to a mental or emotional connection. Call me old school, or call me naive, but when I was younger I thought the person I lost my virginity was going to be the only person I had sex with (there are so many reasons I'm glad that's not the case). Sadly, as soon as I got to college, I was shown that it was possible to be intimate and not be connected. I even had a 18 month phase where I was very selfish and coldhearted, but I'm glad that didn't last long. All I know is that by the time I graduated, my view on sex and my views on relationships were forever changed; whether that's for the better or worse is for other people to decide. As for me, I just know that most of my regrets are for things I didn't do, versus things I did.

Ultimately, to each his/her own. Whether it's a gender thing, a generation thing or just a sign of the times, nobody can deny that people don't "date" the way they used to. I'm almost scared to see what the next generation is going to do when they "date". Hope I can handle it? Better yet, hope some of the traditional values that our parents and grandparents had can return. Old school is definitely where its at (in this regard).

Monday, August 19, 2013

Monday Musings: Christmas Comes Early

I'm not big on scheduling Monday morning appointments. I need at least an hour or so to get it together. Unfortunately, I can stop walk-in's from coming in. So when this young lady stepped in my office at 8:45, I was thinking to myself that this could go one of two ways. Ether she had an issue she's been sitting on all weekend and is ready to snap or someone sent her to me and she didn't want to see me just as much as I wasn't ready to see her. Fortunately, this was a cool experience.

After we dealt with the business part of her visit, we just started shooting the breeze. Don't know how the conversation got to Christmas shopping, but it did. She was telling me that she just finished her shopping for the year and is looking forward to Blac Friday in order to shop for herself. I asked how many people she was shopping for and whatshe got them. Her mom is getting a fur (purchased out of season to save money) and the other two adults on her list are getting gift cards. The three children on her list, ages 16, 7 and 2 are getting Beats by Dre headphones, a 63" television and clothes respectively (what 7 year old do you know with a 63" tv?).

When do you begin Christmas shopping? I don't really think about it until the end of September and don't start shopping until October. Obviously, I need to plan better. The thought of being done months in advance is actually appealling to me and might have to look into it for next year. But for now, let me start the first draft of my list. Gotta see who was naughty and who was nice.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

(Re)Living History

Last night, I had the pleasure of seeing "Lee Daniel's: The Butler". It's a story based on the life of Eugene Allen, a man who served as a butler in the White House for 7 different United States Presidents. I truly enjoyed the movie and learned a lot about aspects of American history that I didn't know. I also received a first hand account of what it was being black through the Civil Rights Movement. Not so much from the movie itself, although I believe those of us who did not grow up in that time should see it. My first hand account came from my own mother, who also saw the movie yesterday. As we do most Saturday mornings, we have breakfast together and talk about what's going on in life. Usually, those conversations tend to be about sports (she's more of a sports fan than I am) or what's going on at the church, but knowing that she saw the movie yesterday, we talked about it and life in those times. Admittedly, I did more listening than talking and sometimes it's better that way.

My mother grew up in the South of the 1940's and 1950's. Born only 80 years after the Emancipation Proclamation she was only in the 2nd generation of our family members who were born free behind my grandmother who is approaching 100 in the next few years. She picked cotton in North Carolina and went to segregated schools until the idea of her working became more important to the family than going to school. She remembers first hand her encounters with the Klu Klux Klan and worked as a domestic both in North Carolina and after she moved to New York (in addition to her job with the United States Postal Service). As I listened to her, I shed a few tears. I knew some of my mother's story, but not all of it. And realizing that she has more days behind her than in front of her, I definitely appreciated and will cherish the conversation we had today.

I appreciated her struggle more than I did growning up. Listening to her also reminded me of summers in which I would listen to my grandmother's stories and how I appreciate those more than I did then. Sometimes, make that most times, we don't know the wealth of knowledge and history we have right around us. I'm looking forward to more conversations like today's with my mother and grandmother while I still have them. They have taught me more than any text book I ever had to read.

Monday, August 12, 2013

Monday Musings

What's that saying about rainy days and Monday's? Was late to work and left my keys at home, but I am smiling anyway. Despite having a decent weekend and a good night last night, here it is, late Monday morning and I feel like I could use a nap. My Mondays are generally sponsored by Red Bull and/or Mountain Dew, but as I type this I a on day 35 without sodas and day 73 without alcohol (not that I was ever that much of a drinker in the first place). . .

Like I said, this weekend was decent. For the last three months, I have been the chairman of thecookout committee at my church. The cookout was this past Saturday. This as thethird one that I have planned, and the biggest. By the initial reaction, it was a success. I wouldn't know because I was all over the place. From setting up, to doing last minute running around to officiating the basketball tournament I didn't even take time out to at. So much so that I ended up going to iHop with two other committee members after all was said and done. Love their watermelon lemonade. . .

Sunday was truly supposed to be a day of rest. After church I came home, watched "Body of Evidence" (don't judge me) then the last season of Boston Legal (one of the best shows ever if you ask me). . .

I shaved my head last night too. First time in almost a month. Longest I have evr gone without shaving since I started shaving back in 2001. When I looked in the mirror last night I knew I would not intentionally grow my hair back any time soon. Team baldy all day.

My co-worker just came into the breakroom and warmed up 2 slices of Papa John's talking about "this is my breakfast". Wheretheydothatat? Guess i should go and do some work.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Challenge Accepted

People who really know me know that the best way to get to me is to challenge me, tell me I can't do something or throw a very attractive carrot in my face. What can I say, I'm very competitive, love proving people wrong and have my share of weaknesses. Don't judge men. Recently, a close friend of mine (who shall remain nameless) challenged me to do something that I have never ever even phathomed doing in my life. I didn't give an immediate response, although my desire to say "hell no" was there. I took time to analyze the challenge and the more I thought about it, the less my desire to say no became. The more I thought about it, the more I kept saying to myself "if you want something different, you have to do something different". With that being the case, I decided to accept this particular challenge and plan to do something different. Sometime in 2014, at the urging of a good friend, I will run a 5K.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Mr. Telephone Man

Panama's son graduated from elementary school this past June. His father made his annual appearance at the graduation, gave him $50 and gave his mother $100 with a request that she buy him a phone. I've never been a believer that he was ready for or deserved a phone at this point, but his mother agreed to get one for him. As luck would have it, he did something shortly before graduation that delayed his receiving the phone for a few weeks. Time has since passed and his phone was purchased today. It's a simple Metro PCS phone with just the basics (phone, text, maybe internet), a far cry from the iPhone he thought he was getting. $25 a month and the phone itself only cost $55. Let's see how this goes.

How old were you when you got your first cell phone?

What age do you think is appropriate for children to get cell phones in this day and age?